Jewellery

Happy holidays world!
The holidays are meant to be a time for relaxing, but ironically I am feeling the most crazy anxious and exhausted that I have in an incredibly long time. Equally, I love being home. It feels comfortable and safe; I've extended friendships with people I knew before and sustained relationships that are new.

Enough of that. What I really wanted to blog about was jewellery.

Yesterday, I was given a beautiful pewter ring in the shape of a bird landing on a leaf. It was a surprise, making it even more special, but what's more is that it is a perfect 'me' piece. Having someone there that knows you well enough to pick out something that they know you will love is a real privilege. Knowing that someone has spent that time browsing through various products that they otherwise would have had no purpose in viewing is flattering, and feels like much more than i truly deserve.

The other reason that this ring feels so special is simply that I am no longer so frustrated and ashamed of my hands. They are no longer the sinewy claws that they used to be when I was playing the flute for 15 hours a week. My fingers look in proportion to my palms, and my palms to my wrists. Hence, rings no longer highlight the general abnormality that was my hands; instead they look nice, perhaps even bordering on elegant.

One of the only benefits of struggling with mental health issues this year has been that I have lost weight and gone down a dress size, simply through walking up hills repeatedly and forgetting the occasional meal. This, again, means that other jewellery now feels wearable. Instead of highlighting my slightly podgy chin, necklaces instead emphasise my collar bones. Bracelets tinkle gently on my wrists, instead of being stuck in the same position. Watches no longer leave imprints on my skin.

Although this may sound concerning to many, I feel that it has boosted my self esteem and confidence. Although the weight loss and the self esteem boost cannot be completely certified as a causation, somehow I do not care. For the first time in my life, I feel semi-good about the way I look.

Peace out x