Dear Internet,
Recently I have been having a bit of a hard time. My problems are likely to be insignificant compared to those of many others, but I feel that this is my own little corner of the internet for me to vent, so here we go.
Term was going great - I love Geography, my units are super interesting and everything was going well! Then I managed to get sick. Sinus infections are pretty normal for me, so I didn't think anything of it. Before I knew it, I had been sick for three weeks and was gradually getting weaker and weaker, finding myself unable to do activities that I take for granted.
I had a blood test, and fortunately I did not have Glandular Fever (a relief), but I am severely anaemic, and they are not quite sure of the cause yet.
It's not that I have a problem with being ill; I am glad that everything is being sorted out. What scares me is the uncertainty - I don't know what is causing this iron deficiency, meaning that there is something that has gone wrong with my body that I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT. If I got to find out next week then I would not be so worried about it, but the diagnostic endoscopy will probably not be until the end of December at the earliest. This means another month and a half of uncertainty.
This knocks me further because one of the possible causes of the anaemia could be coeliac disorder, which is a rather large happening to cope with. I am used to being able to eat whatever I like whenever I like, and the idea of having to avoid all gluten products scares the living daylights out of me - how will I tell people? Is it going to make me feel even more socially awkward than I do a lot of the time? How am I meant to eat meals and go out for dinner with my family and friends?
Although I do feel that I will be able to cope with this, in time; I still have a problem with food and ensuring I eat enough and enough healthy things. If I can't whip up a sandwich at lunch time, I am terrified that it will end with me not eating enough and then becoming sicker.
What scares me even more is that I have avoided gluten for the last couple of days and it has been the first few days in years that I have had without some sort of stomach cramps, bloating or abdominal pain, perhaps indicating that it is coeliac disease rather than the more favourable option of stomach ulcers (twisted right?).
To be entirely honest, either way it is just going to be another thing that I will have to cope with, and I am sure I will.
Any/all advice is much appreciated - I have no idea what is to come and it cuts me up a little.
Thank you for reading, friends;
Izzy x
